Tim Minchin – 10 Foot Cock And A Few Hundred Virgins chords
Chords:
(4/4) Em | Em | B C B | B7 ||(4/4) So you're gonna | live in paradise | with a | ten-foot cock and a few hundred vir || Em | Em | B C B | B7 || gins. So you're gonna | sacrifice your | life for a | ride on a UFO. || C | C#o7 | D | E7 (bass movement: E - F# - G - G# )|| And when the Lord | comes down with his | shimmering chariot of sal | vation || Am7 | D13 | G | B - B - B - B-C || Your gonna be | the first to | know. | || B |(2/4) C - B || And so if... |(2/4) ||(3+2+2/4) Em | C ||(3+2+2/4) God was there from the very | beginning. He invented men and || D | B7 || women. Then He also invented | wanking. Then He said wanking was || Em | C || sinning. So now if I'm feeling | randy I'm not allowed a hand || D |(6/4) B7 || shandy, but having sex with my |(6/4) family, that is just fucking || C | B | Em7 | E7 || Great. It's | all there in Ezekiel | 8 just be | fore he opens up His big pearly || Am Am-maj7/G# | Am7/G Am6/F# | Em Em-maj7/D# | Em7/D Em6/C# || Gates and says that it's a | sin to take it up the | date. Even if it's | great, even with your || C | B7 | B7 |(2/4) B7 ||mate | | |(2/4) B7 |(note run over the third and fourth measures: | E - D - C - B-A-B-C-B-A-G -| F# - E|) So you're gonna live in paradise With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins So you're gonna sacrifice your life For a shot at the greener grass And when the Lord comes down with his shiny rod of judgement He's gonna kick my heathen ass So if you Cover the bodies of your women Everybody is grinning Because black is so slimming Though it's not great for swimming But it gives you an erection With the increased sexual tension What with the UV protection That is second to none You'll find it all in the Koran Just next to the bit that justifies guns And says that it's a sin To take it up the bum Even if it's fun Even with permission from your mum So you're gonna live in paradise With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins So you're gonna sacrifice your life For a shot at eternity And when the Lord comes down and I haven't done my penance He's gonna disembowel me You say that If I Stumbled on a watch I'd assume it had a watchmaker That a muffin presupposes a baker So we must agree sooner or later This proves there's a creator So if I put your foot in a stinker You'd assume the existence of a sphincter Thus you don't need to be a great thinker To conclude that God's a bum Which negates the words of Genesis 1 Which make him out to be so much fun Until Adam succumbed To temptation And then his only son Got nailed to a | Am Am-maj7/G# | Am7/G Am6/F# | Em Em-maj7/D# | Em7/D Em6/C# || Am Am-maj7/G# | Am7/G Am6/F# || gum or the Middle Eastern e | quivalent which suggest that God's om || Em Em-maj7/D# | Em7/D Em6/C# || niscience is nullified by his am | bivalence. Unless it turns out that he's || Am Am-maj7/G# | Am7/G Am6/F# || impotent and if God can't get a | boner I guess that euxplains the ple || Em Em-maj7/D# | Em7/D Em6/C# || thora of huge erections in His | honour. Cos we all know a steeple is just a || Am Am-maj7/G# | Am7/G Am6/F# || subconscious, compensatory | manifestation of a huge, stiff || Em Em-maj7/D# | Em7/D Em6/C# || penis. And still He tell us that it's | heinous to stick a penis up your a || Em Em-maj7/D# | Em7/D Em6/C# || nus, even if you're | famous even if you like || C | B7 | B7 |(2/4) B7 || tennis | | |(2/4) B7 |(Double Time)|(4/4) Em | Em | C | B7 || So you're gonna | live in paradise | with a | ten-foot cock and a few hundred vir || Em | Em | B7 | B7 || gins. So you're gonna | sacrifice your | life for a | ride on a UFO || C | C#o7 | D7 | E7 || And when the Lord | comes down with his | big, stiff, slimy | rod of judgment ||(6/4) Am7 | D13 | Bm7 | E7 ||(6/4) I'm gonna | be the first to | go, he's gonna | send me down be || Am7 | D13 | G | E7 || low, he's gonna | whip me like a | ho. D'ya really think | so? ||(4/4) Am7 | D13 | G blues thing | G ||(4/4) I’m gonna | be the first to | go | |