Bruce McCulloch – Answering Machine chords

[Intro]
          F   CI love my
          F   CI love my

F  C  G  C  F C


[Chorus]
          F         CI love my answering machine
          F         CI love my answering machine
   C                  G7             C   F  CIt keeps the people I know away from me


[Verse 1]
  F           CI don't watch TV
F              CDon't watch my weight
  C        G7        C       F  CI watch my answering machine
CMy best friend says
          G7"It's me. Pick it up." I say "nope"
  CMy girlfriend says
          G7"It's me. Pick it up." I say "nope"
C                                  F"Mr. Harris from the bank calling. Please pick up."
G7Yeah, right
F         G         C     F  CI love my answering machine


[Chorus]
          F         CI love my answering machine
          F         CI love my answering machine
   C           G7         C   F  CIt talks to my friends for me


[Verse 2]
F                   CDo I want to go for dinner?
F                           CShould we meet somewhere at eight?
C             G7                C       F  COnly if I can take my answering machine


[Chorus]
          F         CI love my answering machine
          F         CI love my answering machine
   C                  G7             C   F  CIt keeps the people I know away from me


[Verse 3]
CSometimes I miss it
       G7In the middle of the afternoon
CI call it up
   G7To see how it's doing
CHow can I tell my gal
F                  G7Who I'm whispering to?
F                G7           C    F  CYou know it's my answering machine


[Chorus]
          F         CI love my answering machine
          F         CI love my answering machine
   C                  G7             C   F  CIt keeps the people I love away from me


[Spoken Interlude]
C C/B AmMy answering machine says
             CHi, this is Bruce. I'm not here right now
C C/B  AmSo please leave a message and I'll get back to you
                   CThank you. Bye-bye.
                                     C C/B  AmWhat my answering machine should say is
                                                CHi, this is Bruce. I am here right now. And I'm listening to you,
                                       G#But I'm not gonna pick up. So, leave a message
                         G                           C   F  CAnd I probably won't get back to you. Thank you. Bye-bye.


[Chorus]
          F         CI love my answering machine
          F         CI love my answering machine
   C                G7        C   F  CIt keeps you people away from me


[Bridge]
               G7I collect calls, like spinsters collect porcelain dolls
CSometimes I'll get fearless
              G7And return one
CBut I'll only speak
F                          GIf on the other end of the phone
F          G7        CIs another answering machine


[Chorus]
            F         CWe love our answering machines
            F         CWe love our answering machines
     C                  G7             C  F CThey keep the people we know away from me
            F         CWe love our answering machines
            F         CWe love our answering machines
            C                      G7             C   F CThey're the very best thing that's ever been invented