Half Man Half Biscuit – Surging Out Of Convalescence chords

G                    D                   GDarts in soap operas, oh so wrong, oh so wrong
                            D                            GNo one's scoring and there's too much chat between easch throw
                              D                          GWorse than this though is when cheers are raised for the bull
                                DGranted, bull's a double and an out but I know that they don't
Am         D       Am   D    Am      D      D7Know their boards; I propose no soap darts.
G                    D                       GIs your child hyperactive or is he perhaps a twat?
                          D                         GSometimes I like to watch wave rage down on Fistral Beach
                        D                       GLast Ash Wednesday I had tantric sex and it was shit
                          DNext Ash Wednesday I might strive to lick my elbow;
Am        D     Am       D   Am     D      D7Strive in vain, for they say few succeed.
G                              DI wrote to the Horse and Hounds to gloat over whay I'd done
G                      DI stored their magazine in a data retrieval system
GWell let's face it what're they going to do?
DIt's not as if they know where I live
    G                      DAnd anyway I cut the caper back in 1984
G                  DHeartbroken Matrons on joyless beds
    G                DFor those whose souls the iron has entered
G                            DAnd if I get to Heaven's gate I'll doubtless have to wait
G                           DWhile St. Peter investigates the inevitable asterisk
    G                            DThe inside of a Halex Three Star table-tennis ball
G                        D               GSmells much like you'd expect it to.